I'm an average brown boy. A lonely teen in the silent night. Parents want me to work in the medical field and they hold high expectations for me... typical... and nbd... WRONG. It's not easy at all, and I suffer from what all the other teens go through in their life: DRAMA. But I also suffer from emotional depression. And possibly OCD, ADD, and ADHD. But hey, it just makes me unique, right? I ask for nothing better than what I have in life right now, but only to have the best of it cause I appreciate ALL OF IT. I've been through a lot in my life and like they say: "Whatever doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger (or stranger)", basically describes the way I am. I learn for my mistakes, and try to make myself a better person from it. A really good friend once told me: "You shouldn't regret anything in your life, cause at one point, you wanted to do it.", and I believe that's true, so I don't try to hide, avoid, and/or ignore all the wrongs and rights I've done in my life, but accept them and move on, basically go with the flow. They also said: "It's only awkward, if you make it awkward.", so I accepted the fact and try to be myself, and not me be someone I'm not (fake), but act the way I always act because people will accept me for the way I am, whether I'm weird or not. To me, the words "weird" and "unique" are synonyms or have the same meaning, because they're both words that help describe someone that stands out, someone that's above average, simply extraordinary (like me :3). I guess we all change for a reason, whether it be for a good cause or not, it happens to everyone, and we can't do anything about it, that's just the way it is. Most people either change for a person or that person changed them, but either way, they're still going to change, so I guess I have to accept that... Another good friend told me: "How many times can you break till you're shattered?", and I guess what he meant by that is how much can I take in before I break apart. I recently realized not long ago that they were right about that. That I shouldn't bottle up my emotions, cause sooner or later, it'll break me apart, which it did, but I was able to express everything that was on my mind (which was a plus side to that), and I began to collect my pieces and put myself back together. No more would I hold my thoughts back, but be ready to express them... I guess they're right when they say: "Love is evil, spell it backwards.", cause it holds you in a choke hold, and you can either let it knock you out or release yourself from its death grip, and use it to your advantage. Two years ago, I fell in love with a girl. And it's ongoing, so that's another story to tell... I just want her to be happy, that's all. I would do anything to put a smile or see a smile on her face, even if I wasn't the reason or her boyfriend. I wish she would realize how much I care about her and how much I love her, but I guess her and everyone else won't understand, so i just have to accept the fact and move along..... I guess they're right when they say: "Patience is a virtue." or "What goes around comes around.", I believe that if we're good, karma rewards us in return. And I guess we all do get and deserve a second chance in life, this one was mine. That is why I say: "There is an 'if' in life."... I always get the feeling that no matter what I do or how hard I try, I will never be able to fit in. I will always be the social outcast. Never part of any group and secluded from everyone. Life is like a popularity contest. We're either in or out, and that's it. I also think that I'm going to die at an young age since I've had so many near-death experiences, but I guess i can only wait for what's next in the chapter of my life. These are the thoughts that always circle around my head, and I know it may sound strange to you, but it only makes me human. A homosapien in scientific terms.... The only way I usually get my mind off things or clear my thoughts is by running and/or smoking. I don't smoke often, but only when I'm really upset or depressed, like down in the dumps. I know it sounds odd, since one option is very healthy, while the other is very harmful, but I guess that's what makes me different from everyone else... I believe that we should live a little and have some fun, cause we're young, wild, and free~ I also believe that we should make the most of our lives, since we don't know what is going to happen to us. Anything is possible. That is why I say: "Time is forever, but life isn't." Just go with the flow d00d~
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